018 | PARENTING WITH CONFIDENCE
HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR ATHLETE.
Let me just start by saying I am not a parent and don’t have plans to be one anytime soon. With that said, I have observed and experienced the impact that different types of parenting can have on a player, so this blog post is meant just to share those thoughts and hopefully help someone be a little bit better along the way, because that’s what we are all here for.
The parent is always the most influential person in a player’s life, because every person is shaped by their parents in one way or another — positively or negatively. Players need their parents for support and encouragement. They need to know they have someone to fall back on and depend on for direction during critical moments in life. However, players do not need their parents to play for them. They don’t need another coach, or even someone to act as an intermediary between them and their coach when they get older. They just need to know that someone loves them no matter how they perform on the pitch.
Like the characters in a hit movie, it’s important that everyone understands their roles and plays them well. The same goes for developing high performance athletes. A top player will depend on many different figures throughout their career — teachers, coaches, technical trainers, strength and conditioning specialists, mental counselors, doctors, physical therapists, etc. But the one relationship that remains constant, is the one with their parents. Players will accept correction from their coaches because they know it comes from a place that is only constructive. When they start to receive criticism from their parents, it starts to feel personal and creates a box around them that stunts their growth in every direction.
While each actor in a film has their own part to play, they must also learn how to play well together. In our story here, the player is the star of the show — everyone else is just a supporting character. It’s the player who is at the center of the web, and is the one character that connects all the others in their network. So then, it’s the player who must learn to manage all of those relationships and how to get the greatest gain from each of them. Only the player knows the full story and has the power to write the script. When a supporting character takes the lead, the movie loses its plot.
Ownership must begin and end with the player. Without it, there will always be plenty left to be desired from their development. Empower your athlete to take responsibility for their own career, and you can have confidence in knowing that you have set them up for success.